Being a Mom

This post is long overdue.  I've been meaning to write it for almost a year now.  Since it is Kellen's birthday today it reminded me that this post has been waiting around in the dark recesses of my scattered, mommy mind!  This post is just some thoughts I had right after Kellen was born.  I remember sharing them with Tyson on the way home from the hospital.  We were just leaving the Wendy's parking lot after having stopped through the drive through to get a frosty and some fries.  I had been craving them and thought they would be a great reward after all my hard work! ;)  So, as we were leaving the parking lot I remember telling Tyson that my feelings of nurturing and unconditional love as a mother were so strong right then, that I wanted to remember them and make note of them.  At that moment I had such pure feelings of love not yet tainted by the natural man that creeps in.  I could feel all those gifts the Lord has given us as women, especially as mothers.  I remember feeling so grateful and telling Tyson I want to remember these feelings, especially in those moments of motherhood where you are pushed to your limits and have a hard time feeling those loving, nurturing feelings. You know, when you want to yell and get frustrated and feel stressed.  Sometimes that can cloud those special, God given feelings.  I am so grateful for that moment of clarity.  It is such a special, sacred experience when you have your babies.  You've really just had a glimpse of heaven as they come into the world.  Your feelings are so tender and raw and I am grateful for that.  I could relive the moment my babies are born and I see them for the first time over and over...there is nothing like it. 

Matthew Tyson- January 8, 2003 (Sadly I couldn't find the file on my computer with all his hospital pictures.)

Kaleb Clifford- August 26, 2005

Ian Dennis- December 11, 2008

Kellen Glen- January 29, 2012

It is amazing that as mother's we feel such a spectrum of feelings from loving so much it almost hurts to wanting to throw you kids out the window. (as my husband says) Being a mom allows me to recognize the best and worst part of myself and try every day to be a little better.  For me there seems to be no greater way to stretch and grow and learn how to love while here on this earth than being a mother.  I am so grateful for my children and the special spirits they are.  I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for placing them from heaven into my home.  I am also grateful that he gives us the spirit to guide us as we try to figure it out.  Most importantly, right now as I write this, I am grateful for the special moment where my nurturing, loving feelings as a mother were so strong that my testimony was strengthened and I felt that I had a little glimpse into how our Heavenly Father loves us.