Last December

My poor little Kellen has been sick the past few days.  The worst thing is that any time he gets a cold type of sickness he develops croup.  I would almost rather him be throwing up then have the croup.  There isn't much scarier than watching your child labor to breathe and wondering if you should take him to the ER.  It's always worse in the middle of the night too.  To get woken up to the sound of them wheezing and watching his chest retract as he works for every breath puts knots in my stomach.  The nights with croup cause so much anxiety for me.

Not loving the nebulizer.  We've found that a blow by works better.  It's where you don't us a mask you just let it blow up in their face.

With this recent sickness I've been having flashbacks of last December.  Last December was hard for me....really, really hard.  Some people knew what was going on but I didn't make it too big of a deal.  So I don't think they knew how much I was suffering. I went into auto pilot and just survived through that time.  I realized, looking back, how emotionally draining it was for me. It was taking it's toll in every part of my life...friends, family everything. 

The month or so before December Kellen was having a hard time.  He had such a bad rash all over his body, on and off, that it would keep him up at night as he would cry and scratch.  His poor little skin would get raw and bloody with the scratching.  He had to deal with croup during that time too.  I had to take him to the ER on two different occasions, late in the night, because of it. His appetite was lacking and I was worried.  I didn't know exactly what was wrong.  The doctor wondered about acid reflux and food allergies.  I thought maybe his skin was a reaction to our laundry detergent or maybe something he was eating.  I really didn't know. He was miserable and so was I.  There was a constant uneasy nagging and anxiety at the back of my mind as I tried to go throughout my day.

At one of his doctors visits during this time they found he was losing weight. He was in the "failure to thrive"category, I think the 1%.  I was pretty worried, especially not knowing what was causing the problem.  He referred us to a pediatric gastroenterologist so he could check for food allergies.  The specialist recommended a procedure where they put Kellen under anesthesia and put a scope w/camera down his throat, into his stomach and the top part of his intestine.  While doing this they would be able to take a biopsy and test it for food allergies and acid reflux.  I liked the idea of finding out for sure instead of testing different foods, watching for reactions, etc. So, we agreed to go ahead with the procedure.

The procedure was scheduled a few weeks into December. The day of the procedure came and we headed out bright and early to the hospital.   We were ushered back to a room where we got him into his gown, filled out some paperwork and listened to the anesthesiologist give there usual spill.  We sent him off with some kisses and then we were taken back to the waiting room. I tried to keep myself busy looking at magazines or watching the morning show on tv.  After a while the doctor came out and told us everything went well.

No long after they took us back to see him.  He was already awake.  I think they wait till they are out of the anesthesia to get the parents because it is hard to watch them wake up.  I've been under several times before and it is hard to come out of it.  I know what is going on so I can keep myself calm as I'm coming in and out but for kids it's different.  They don't know what the heck is going on and it can be scary when you want to wake up but can't.  One time when I was coming out of anesthesia there was a little boy in the recovery room with me.  I never saw him I could just hear him as I drifted in and out.  He was moaning and crying and they kept trying to reassure him with little success.  It was so sad to hear.  I appreciate that the nurses looked after Kellen during that process so I didn't have to be there and feel helpless. Being there wouldn't have brought Kellen any comfort at that point.

When we walked into the recovery room I could tell right away something was not right.  The first thing I noticed was the wheezing. I'd know the sound of stridor anywhere.  Stridor by definition means: a harsh vibrating sound heard during respiration in cases of obstruction of the air passages.  In the case of croup the obstruction is the inflammation of the upper airways.  It actually has nothing to do with the lungs.  If anyone has heard that sound it is scary!

Kellen went into the procedure with no croup at all and came out sounding the worst I've ever heard him.  Every breath sounded horrible and took such effort.  They concluded that the breathing tube put down his throat during the procedure irritated his already small airways causing them to be inflamed.  They gave Kellen a nebulizer treatment and an oral steroid.  After watching him for a while they sent us home.  That night was rough.  He had stridor for most of it and I was really worried.  The next day I took him to the pediatrician who, as soon as he heard him, called the hospital and arranged for him to be admitted. 

We ended up staying in the hospital for 2 days getting regular breathing treatments.  They finally gave us the okay to go home.  We had to give him nebulizer treatments at home for a while.  At the same time we were seeing a dermatologist who diagnosed his eczema and prescribed a cream that has helped a lot and still does when his skin starts to act up. 

The outcome of the scope procedure showed that he had no allergies and no sign of reflux.  Thank goodness for that.  I needed some type of good news during that time.  

Luckily kids usually grow out of croup.  All my boys have dealt with it and have grown out of it.  There are still days where they wake up in the morning sounding a little croupy but never to the extent of worry.  I can't wait till Kellen grows out of that stage, especially since he is my worst crouper so far.  He seems to get it at the drop of the hat, sometimes even when he isn't sick.  

I started writing this blog post last night and am finishing it up this morning.  I actually ended up having to take Kellen to the ER last night to get a steroid treatment to open his airways.  We also found he has a raging ear infection.  No wonder the previous 3 nights have been pretty hellish for him and us.  Finally relief is on the way....until next time.  I do not doubt that sometime this winter I'll have to take him in again.  It is just the nature of the beast.  This to shall pass right?