A few months ago we went to Utah to drop Matt and Kaleb off at grandma and grandpa Moore's. They stayed a week and flew back home to Boise. They had an awesome time and want to make it a yearly summer trip.
My grandma Moore is living in a old folks facility there in Ephraim, where my parents live. She's from California but moved to Utah several years ago because she could no longer live alone. It is nice for her to be close to my parents. My dad visits her everyday.
She has changed a lot and quickly. When I saw her in November, I guess almost a year ago, she was a lot like her old self. The last few visits she doesn't seem to be aware of who I am. She talks but about random things that don't make sense and it's not a conversation. It doesn't feel like she's really talking to you.
She is to the point now that she can't walk and hold her head up. When I go to see her I have to kneel down and look up into her face to talk to her. She usually gives me a smile but I don't think she recognizes me. I would say she isn't very present, at least when I've seen her. She is so different from her old self. It's sad to see.
So, when we went to Utah, we stopped to see my grandma. It was a Sunday and she was sitting in the main great room by herself. I could see the nurses had dressed her for church. She was in a pink dress, one of her favorite colors, with leggings. I'm guessing the nurse was trying to keep her warm.
As I knelt down and looked up into her face she smiled. I usually tell her, "Hi grandma, it's me, Rachelle." As I told her who I was she smiled. I'm not sure if she really knew who I was. Maybe she knew I somehow belonged to her. I told her I loved her dress and that we both had pink on that day. She smiled at that.
I could tell she was a little more connected and engaged then usual. It wouldn't have been anything noticeable to anyone walking past but I felt it. It was so subtle but there. Before we left we took a picture with her. I put my hand on hers and she placed hers on top of mine. For me that was a big deal. It was something so small but such a big deal to me. She was responding to my physical gesture of love.
I was so grateful for that small tender mercy. I knew that this could be the last time I might see her and was so glad there were those small little details that made me feel like she knew me.
When I got back to my parents house mom asked me how she was. I couldn't help but cry as I told her my experience. It was a blessing to me. My grandma has always been an important person in my life and I love her so much.
I know the Lord knew I needed that moment with my grandma. I'm thankful to him for that. :)
Love Always,
Rachelle
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